Is This My Life?
Your alarm goes off in the morning, and you’re still tired. It doesn’t matter - Get ready, set, run! Get yourself prepared for the day. Do the household chores. Grab a protein bar for breakfast, or maybe skip breakfast until later or all together. If you have kids, get them dressed and out the door to school. Plan dinner. Sometimes you sneak in brief exercise. Now get to work and battle the commute or enter your home workspace, which seems to creep into other parts of your house. You don’t have time for lunch, so you grab a snack bar and multitask at work while thinking of things you need to do at home.
You leave work late and start your other job – food shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework, taking the kids to extracurricular activities and putting them to bed, caring for your older parents, finishing tasks you didn't do at work, or whatever else needs to be done. Then you’re exhausted, and you finally fall into bed. Maybe you have difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep. But, one thing is certain, there was little time to properly take care of yourself or connect with your partner, loved ones, and friends. And, you know something is missing in your life – joy!
Does any part of this sound like your life? If yes, the big question is: How do you create a sense of balance and joy when you lead such a busy life in an unbalanced world? You want work-life balance so you can get off the hamster wheel, but it always seems to allude you. I’m here to tell you, don’t lose hope! It's not a myth. I’ve done it and continue to do it. But first, we need to understand what “work-life balance” really is before we can live it. Then the next step is the “how-tos.” Let’s see.
Life Balance vs. Work/Life Balance
I prefer to call it “Life Balance,” because work is part of life. If you don’t have an “outside” job, you’re still working to meet your home and other responsibilities, regardless of the season or stage of your life. It just looks different. Let’s discover what life balance is not, and then what it is. Ultimately, you get to choose what life balance means for you and how you want it to be.
What It’s Not
Finishing everything on your “to-do” list for the day, week, etc.
Giving every item on the list the same “weight” or priority.
Believing your current priorities won’t change or will always have the same weight.
Convincing yourself it’s just a scheduling problem or time management issue.
Trying to be perfect at everything for everyone all the time.
Feeling like a failure or guilty because you can’t do it all.
Thinking that you need “balance” in all areas of your life all the time.
Assuming balance means you’ll never be stressed, overwhelmed, tired, or have a bad day or week.
Taking on more responsibility without letting go of anything or saying “no” before you’re overloaded.
Being superwoman and not asking for help.
Neglecting your own physical, emotional, and spiritual needs by placing yourself last on the priority list.
Supposing it’s about “doing” rather than “being.”
What It Is
Doing the right things at the right time. That can change by the day, week, month, season, or stage of life. It’s also about spending time doing the things that matter most to you.
Understanding it’s really a heart issue because it comes from your “inner” world before it can be actualized in your “outer” world. Doing the right things at the right time is a by-product of what’s happening inside you, which is always the root cause. It’s the true key to peace, joy, fulfillment, and living with ease.
Asking your heart what you really want out of life and what matters most to you; then making your schedule around this instead of fitting it into the time that’s “left over.” It also means making “me time” without thinking you’re selfish.
“Being” who you truly are rather than just “doing.” Remember, we are human “beings.”
Getting in touch with “that which is greater.” You may call it “higher power,” “divine,” “divine universe,” “universal consciousness,” “pure awareness,” “god,” or something else. It opens your heart to “being,” as well as “doing.” And it helps you to "ground" and find your way. Even when things get rough, you can let go of trying to control what you can’t.
Building confidence within yourself without the feelings of failure, guilt, or having to people please for validation and prove anything to anyone.
Delegating and asking for help at home, work, or wherever you need it.
Allowing yourself to say "no" instead of "yes" when you need to set and maintain your boundaries.
Realizing you can’t achieve 50/50 balance in all areas of your life all the time and letting that be okay.
Giving yourself kindness and compassion when things don't go as planned.
Seeking support of other women who understand, encourage, and help you through the tough times.
You may be thinking, this sounds great, but how can I do it? Good question. In Part II, I’ll provide you with the “how tos” in the “5 Steps to Life Balance.” Stay tuned for the next blog. I’ve also created the “3 Minute Mindful Circle,” a private FB community of women to support and nurture you. I invite you to Join. If you would like private guidance on life balance, schedule a free session with me, and we’ll find solutions together!